“I Always Thought This Was Just Me”: The Overlooked Signs of ADHD or Anxiety
- Srolic Barber
- Jun 17
- 3 min read
“I just thought this was how everyone’s brain worked…”
You’ve probably told yourself things like:
“I’m just disorganised, always have been.”
“I overthink everything — but that’s just me.”
“Deadlines light a fire under me, it’s how I operate.”
When you’ve always lived a certain way, it’s hard to see it as anything but normal. But here’s the thing: just because it’s familiar, doesn’t mean it’s typical.
Everyday habits that are actually sneaky coping strategies
You might be someone who:
Opens WhatsApp, sees messages, gets overwhelmed, and never replies (but mentally replied days ago)
Feels guilty for cancelling social plans — but also relieved
Can spend 45 minutes getting ready but somehow still forgets deodorant
Starts cleaning one room, ends up reorganising the spice drawer, then gets overwhelmed and does neither
These things can feel like quirks. Personality traits. But often, they’re signs of a brain that’s been working overtime behind the scenes. Not because you're broken — because you’ve been adapting.
Smart, capable — and kind of wrecked
Adults with undiagnosed ADHD or anxiety are often functioning at a high level — and quietly burning out. You’re keeping it together. But just barely.
You’ve probably built up routines and systems to survive:
Making endless lists, emailing yourself, leaving sticky notes, writing on your arms, just so you don’t forget the basics
Prepping for meetings like they’re TED Talks
Setting 4 alarms just to get out the door
It works… until it doesn’t. And when life throws more complexity or more demands your way — a career shift, a breakup, a baby, a burnout — suddenly the wheels start to come off.
The “Oh wait… that’s me” moment
Many people first start to question things when:
A friend gets diagnosed and casually describes your entire inner world
You stumble across a video on TikTok or post on Insta that hits way too close to home
You realise not everyone else is running the same mental obstacle course every day
You’re exhausted all the time, and you can’t quite explain why
It’s not always a dramatic breakdown. Sometimes it’s just a quiet click — the realisation that maybe this way of being isn’t just “your thing.”
Why no one noticed sooner
So if this is ADHD or anxiety… why didn’t it show up earlier?
Maybe, here’s why: structure used to carry you. School, uni, jobs with clear hours — all of that gave your brain scaffolding. Even your social life had routines baked in.
Now? You’re managing your own time. Expectations are higher. And, no one’s checking if you’ve had lunch or booked that appointment. And suddenly your brain is the manager, the assistant, and the overwhelmed intern — all in one.
The quiet mental load no one else sees
Let’s name it:
You’re always a bit behind, even when nothing is on fire
You want to reply to people, but the pressure makes it harder to even open the chat
You’re amazing in crisis but struggle with the basics
You’re mentally rewriting tomorrow’s conversations while trying to fall asleep
This is not laziness. This is not “just the way you are.” This is a brain working overtime just to feel baseline okay.
What if it’s not just you? Like, what if it's ADHD or anxiety?
This isn’t about pathologising your whole personality. It’s about understanding the effort it’s been taking to function — and why you might be so tired.
You don’t need to have a diagnosis to want life to feel less heavy. You don’t need to be falling apart to get curious about what’s going on.
Sometimes the biggest shift comes from asking:“Wait… does it actually have to be this hard?”
Want to talk it through?
If this hit home, reach out below. No pressure, no assumptions — we can have a brief chat to begin figuring out what’s going on and how to make it easier.
